Cracks in the Lining

It seems that all life is, is trying to do the normal and conversations consist of work, and random bull shit, then you start talking about people behind their back, also know as Drama. While this happens all the time when you hear someone talking bad about you your heart sinks. I guess the feeling that they don’t care for you and a bit of truth, goes deeper than you could believe but no one knows what going on with you. The dark sides they only see you put together in the best way you can, but they criticize the cracks you have but in the end those cracks were huge holes in the lining. So maybe it’s good that they think there only seeing cracks and not holes but it still hurts and I understand I am there more than not. Even though I was never diagnosed with it I am pretty sure I have had depression for quite a long time and only a few people truly knew. And trust me you have nothing on someone who has depression. It feels like you’re in a vicious circle that can’t be stopped and you’re not going to successes and all you fears are starting to become a reality and people are criticizing you and you have what feels like a breakdown every day. And you start to believe its not worth it anymore. And then you start to confide in someone and then you hear them bitch about that person, for whatever reason.  But here is my advice for this whole boat load of bullshit. I got this from john mayer and no matter what you think of him it doesn’t matter cause it makes sense he said it about a song sounding like another song, but I think it can be applied to many things. He said as long as you can lie in your bed at night and be ok with what you’ve done. It does not matter. I have to agree as long as you can live with yourself fuck the rest they’re not living your life. They don’t know the path you walk every day they never done what you done NO matter what they say. Everyone is DIFFERENT and that’s not BAD. They just want you to think that so they can feel better about themselves. Well FUCK EM. Because this is your life you make the decisions… PERIOD.  

The beginging of the end.

So its almost two in the morning and always have the best ideas at night, hence the mystery of the night. first a quick info about me i am way to creative and have way to many outlets. and for almost a year now I've been writing a book on how to deal with life and its ups and downs. I was going to do it in a blog but figured no one would ever look at it. and I've come to realize o well who cares. if people find this blog welcome if not I'll be the voice shouting out in the mist of others. i believe i have some good incites. i guess well find out. So I've been write for what seems like forever, i write, poems, lyrics, random quotes, and recently as stated before a book. so instead of me rambling here is a section/ part of it. had to go look and decide it was a hard decision. but i think this one makes the most sense for this being the first post.

Mystery of the night

So why is this called mystery of the night, nothing really is about the night or mystery. Well first I think it sounds cool. And secondly the idea of it is interesting to me, it all started when I was listening to a song called mystery of you, and I thought later on mystery of the night would be a bad ass name for a album or a song haven’t gotten around on writing a song called that but it’s all a work in progress. And then I thought that its true. so much happens in the night that is so mysterious, for one I love being up at night and get way more done at night then the day as well as think of the greatest things in the world ( some says since you’re not thinking of anything at night your brain figures everything out that you couldn’t figure out during the day, that is why you wake up with so many Ideas or at night come up with good ideas don’t know if it’s true but it makes sense.), anyway the reason no clue, so in tale it is a mystery of the night. Don’t know why it happens it’s just a pure mystery. And there are other mysteries of the night, which make you, think. The night as a whole seems to be mysterious since most people go to sleep and I guess the wonder of what is happening when you’re sleeping creates that mystery. But that’s the reason