Cracks in the Lining

It seems that all life is, is trying to do the normal and conversations consist of work, and random bull shit, then you start talking about people behind their back, also know as Drama. While this happens all the time when you hear someone talking bad about you your heart sinks. I guess the feeling that they don’t care for you and a bit of truth, goes deeper than you could believe but no one knows what going on with you. The dark sides they only see you put together in the best way you can, but they criticize the cracks you have but in the end those cracks were huge holes in the lining. So maybe it’s good that they think there only seeing cracks and not holes but it still hurts and I understand I am there more than not. Even though I was never diagnosed with it I am pretty sure I have had depression for quite a long time and only a few people truly knew. And trust me you have nothing on someone who has depression. It feels like you’re in a vicious circle that can’t be stopped and you’re not going to successes and all you fears are starting to become a reality and people are criticizing you and you have what feels like a breakdown every day. And you start to believe its not worth it anymore. And then you start to confide in someone and then you hear them bitch about that person, for whatever reason.  But here is my advice for this whole boat load of bullshit. I got this from john mayer and no matter what you think of him it doesn’t matter cause it makes sense he said it about a song sounding like another song, but I think it can be applied to many things. He said as long as you can lie in your bed at night and be ok with what you’ve done. It does not matter. I have to agree as long as you can live with yourself fuck the rest they’re not living your life. They don’t know the path you walk every day they never done what you done NO matter what they say. Everyone is DIFFERENT and that’s not BAD. They just want you to think that so they can feel better about themselves. Well FUCK EM. Because this is your life you make the decisions… PERIOD.